Self Growth Teaching Series
On May 22nd, 2019 / by Glen Elliott
The Fuller Picture of Love
This past Sunday, I introduced our new series: This Is Pantano. We looked at the first value that we hold as people of Pantano – What matters most is loving people to Jesus. I made a strong case that it is God’s will that because all people have value and matter to him, we have […]
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On May 22nd, 2019 / by Glen Elliott | Subscribe
The Fuller Picture of Love
This past Sunday, I introduced our new series: This Is Pantano. We looked at the first value that we hold as people of Pantano – What matters most is loving people to Jesus. I made a strong case that it is God’s will that because all people have value and matter to him, we have to love all people, even the messed up, misinformed and misguided folks, no matter how difficult they are. However, there’s a fuller picture to love. How are we to love those who abuse us? How are we to love those who pose a real danger to us and those we love?
Back in 2017, I did a whole series called Peopling that addresses this. If you missed it or need a refresher, you can watch the four-part series on our message page and go to previous messages or click here. The idea is that the Bible teaches there are three basic kinds of people. The Bible labels them as Wise, Fool, and Evil. Each kind of person requires that we respond in a way that matches who they are. There is no “one size fits all” way to engage and love people.
There are some people who outright reject God and the truth, and are intent on hurting us. They are called evil. Their only intent is to hurt you. There are some people who refuse to deal with truth and reality. They are called fools. In their denial of truth and reality, they blame you, others and circumstances for the trouble they are in. They are selfish, self-centered, and won’t take responsibility for their actions. They refuse to listen. Then there are the wise who want to know the truth and listen to the truth and allow God’s wisdom to transform how they live. In the Peopling series, we saw how the book of Proverbs (for example, see Proverbs 9:6-9; 4:14-16; 18:2; 19:19; 27:12) describes and gives us wisdom on how to respond to each type.
The point of the Peopling series is that you can love a wise and healthy person by seeking to serve them, engage with them, be kind, etc. This was what I was focusing on this last Sunday. When you genuinely try to love and give grace to a “fool,” you’ll discover that they continue in their negative or hurtful ways. Your “normal” kind of love doesn’t help. In fact, it might actually enable them to hurt you and others more. That’s when love has to change.
My simple definition of love is to seek the best for someone. The way you do that with a fool is to set “boundaries.” You want to love them, but they make it almost impossible to love them in the “normal” ways. Boundaries are the best way we can LOVE them. Boundaries define what will be accepted or not and gives consequences for their behavior. They will only change for their own good and for the good of others when it costs them enough to change. What’s best for a fool (that’s love) is often not what they want – that’s why the Bible calls them a fool. Some call this tough love.
Finally, there are evil people and the Bible tells us to avoid them. An evil person has one focus and purpose – to hurt and destroy you. Evil people abuse and injure people. You can’t help or serve an evil person. All you can do is confront them (which only makes them more hurtful) and then pray for them. We praying for what’s best for them. Then, forgive them. We forgive them more for ourselves (they don’t care). We let go of our hurt in forgiveness. You can’t be friends with them because they will only use that to hurt, abuse and damage you more. With an “evil” person you lock the door, defriend them on social media, get a gun or get a lawyer (just kidding….sort of). You have to separate from someone whose evil and pray for God to rescue and transform them.
We are called to love all people. But that love will look differently depending on who we are trying to love.
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